


Thou continuest still

by surexit



Category: The Charioteer - Mary Renault
Genre: M/M, Presumed Dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 12:13:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surexit/pseuds/surexit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laurie comes down for a weekend from Oxford to find the house bombed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thou continuest still

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to naraht for looking this over. ♥

Walking up the road to Ralph’s lodgings from the train station and coming upon the aching gap where a house should be, Laurie felt his heart torn in two, suddenly and carelessly, like last week’s newspaper. The bomb had evidently fallen last night, for there were still people picking through the rubble and he had spoken to Ralph only yesterday. Ralph had not been due at the station until later this afternoon, and he’d had no plans for the evening. He would have been in the flat.

All this passed through Laurie’s mind in a nothing of time. His knee, abruptly, started to ache fiercely. He put his suitcase down at his feet and tried to make sense of the mess of building in front of him, the obscene chunks of what used to be a refuge.

He realised that a soft voice at his elbow was trying to attract his attention. “Hello. Hello.”

He blinked, and looked at the face of a middle-aged woman he dimly recognised. “Hello,” he said. “Sorry. I’m not sure how to -” He stopped abruptly.

“You’re a friend of Lieutenant Lanyon’s,” she said briskly, and he realised it was the landlady’s sister. Ralph had told him she lived three streets away, and she came for tea with her sister every other day. Laurie had run into her on the stairs and in the kitchen several times. Her eyes were red at the corners.

“I am,” he agreed, dumbly.

“He’s not dead,” the landlady’s sister said. “He’d gone out to get milk.”

“Oh.” Laurie felt his body sway, just for a second, like a tree in high wind. “Oh. Thank you.”

She waved a hand, dismissing his thanks with a certain brusqueness. “He’s gone to the hospital with Mrs Tomlinson. Her boy’s there and she’s in something of a state.” She sniffed, indicating her disapproval of women who got into states. “He said you were to be told to stay put.” She seemed also to disapprove of men who stayed where they were put.

“I’ll get a taxi,” Laurie said. “Unless you think he’ll be back very soon.”

“They left about ten minutes ago,” the woman said. “I should think you’ll catch him.”

It was not until Laurie was in the taxi that he realised that he hadn’t given his condolences for her loss. Nor had he picked up his suitcase.

***

It was the first time Laurie had been back to the hospital in a year, and his leg seemed to get lamer as he approached the massive steps. Inside, all was the same miasma of sickness, but Laurie found himself able to look at the others in there with equanimity, now that he was no longer one of them. He was not allowed to go into the ward where Ralph had gone. It was evidently one for very serious cases, and he tried to force himself to spare a thought for the poor woman Ralph was accompanying, whose son was in there. He couldn’t, for there was no space in him for anything except Ralph.

He waited amongst the sick, and the ache in his leg intensified.

It was probably only another twenty minutes before Ralph appeared. Laurie couldn’t help remembering the first time he’d seen Ralph in this waiting room, how outside of it all he’d appeared. The polish had been worn off him by familiarity now, and Laurie knew full well that he was as touched by despair as everyone else in here, but only an hour ago Laurie had thought he was dead. The overwhelming relief and affection he felt at the sight of him gave him back some of last year’s dazzle. Laurie got to his feet, aware that his eyes were helplessly locked with Ralph’s.

“Hello, Spud,” Ralph said quietly. “Mrs Irving found you quickly, I hope?”

“After a minute or two,” Laurie said, his own tone hushed and reverent. “It’s all right.”

“God, sorry, Spuddy. There was no time to telephone, I’ve been doing all sorts.” His uniform was dusty and a little torn, Laurie saw.

“Can we go somewhere? Just quickly?”

“Follow me.” But Ralph stopped sharply when he saw the way Laurie moved. “Your leg’s bad.”

“Must have been tensing it,” Laurie said, with a shrug. “Go on, Ralph.”

Last year that would never have been the end of it, but last year was before they had both been forced to realise their own strength. Ralph nodded, and led the way with slow, decisive steps.

It was back to the pews. Laurie recognised them and was comforted to see that the outer lobby of the hospital chapel had not changed. The hymn books were in a different set of piles, that was all.

“Are we about to be interrupted?” Laurie said, trusting Ralph’s ability to judge the lie of the land.

“Can’t hear anyone,” Ralph said.

“Come here, then.”

Ralph did, and Laurie clung to him for the count of ten, cautious beyond anything not to lose himself, not here. He lifted his head from the angle of Ralph’s shoulder once he’d reached eleven, and kissed him. Ralph returned the kiss with a soft sound in his throat.

They broke apart very shortly after that. “Sorry, Spuddy,” Ralph said again.

“I don’t know what I should have done,” Laurie said. They didn’t say anything for a moment or two, breathing slowly with each other. “Where are you sleeping tonight?” Laurie asked, breaking the silence.

Ralph shrugged. “We’ll find somewhere,” he said, and squeezed Laurie’s shoulder, hard, for half a second. “It’ll be fine.”


End file.
